Bratty Jamie Productions - The Real Buddha

Request: I hope this message finds you well. I was wondering if you could make a clip in which you claim to be the real Buddha incarnate. I've attached pictures of Amitabha Buddha and myself. It would be great if you could shove your feet in front of the images on your computer while telling me that you are the real Buddha, not the Asian guy in the drawing. Then you command me to offer incense and chant your name - Bratty Jamie - all day while kneeling in front a picture of you and your perfection in order to free my mind. Furthermore, I shall celebrate your birthday as the most holy day, write poems of praise to you in English since that is the language you speak, and spread your religion.