Miss Jackie Gold - Don't Move a Muscle - Human Furniture

I'm going out tonight, so I need to fix up My makeup before I leave. Why would I stand in front of the mirror and do that when I can just sit on My favorite piece of furniture? This beta does a good job holding still while I put all of My weight on it while leisurely doing My makeup and chatting on the phone with my friends. It's not like it can do anything about it. I mostly ignore its existence, but sometimes I like to taunt it and talk at it. When I get back home I expect it to be in the exact same position as I left it in. Furniture doesn't move, duh.