Bare Foot Confidential - Felony

We knew this guy one time who got arrested and charged with a misdemeanor for attempting to play with a woman's foot at a Mexican amusement park. Mexican justice being what it is, we haven't seen him since. So when you got a hot chick named Felony literally begging you to play with hers- armed with this previous knowledge of past foot transgressions- what do you think your answer might be? With those succulent toes beckoning to you like Ahab to doomed whalers, would you consider your options? Or would you proceed hell bent for leather? By the way, make sure to include your return address on that first letter from the can.